Dear King, pt. I

When I think of you... of us...


It’s your Queen here. So please pay close attention and hear me out :)

Now, I have a serious question here: why is it that men tend to look at marriage as a prison sentence? It's as if men associate marriage and the idea of "settling down," with actually settling. Who told you all that once you marry, your life becomes devoid of good times? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging; I simply believe that there is a recognizable problem in this generation regarding love, companionship, and marriage—especially within our black communities, for both men and women. However, this concern, in particular, has been weighing heavily on my heart. I believe there is a need for open and honest dialogue, so that we can all learn, grow, and understand one another better, allowing us to make room for God to step in and reveal the truth.

I didn’t grow up surrounded by many examples of healthy marriages, but that didn’t prevent me from recognizing what marriage is supposed to look like, and what a blessing and an honor it is for God to entrust two people with the responsibility of loving one another the way Christ loves us—pouring goodness into your spouse and entrusting two people with the ministry of marriage, daily. If you’re so busy trying to “have it all,” such as the right amount of money in your bank account; a particular career status/job title/promotion; or your dream car to impress others, then you’re going to miss out on the opportunity to truly appreciate the joys of life (God’s blessed pleasures for His people to enjoy in abundance). You’ll find yourself missing out on a beautiful blessing—one that is bigger than you—one that will bring honor and glory to our Heavenly Father.

See, it all sounds like well-manufactured man’s worldly wisdom (in other words, excuses). God’s word tells us, “…If you think you are wise by this world’s standards, you need to become a fool to be truly wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God…” (1 Corinthians 3:18-19) and “So don’t boast about following a particular human leader….” (1 Corinthians 3:21). Personally, I don’t need nor desire for you to have ‘it all,’ nor do I want you to think you do. If you believe that you have it all, what do you need me for? There would be no room for us to grow together. Where’s the fun in that? I want to experience life with you. Marriage was NOT created to take away from who you are or hold you back from a wonderful life (your success). Marriage was created to add to it, propelling you further into your God-given purpose. It’s a reflection of God’s perfect love for us. Just as God is dependable with His unchanging word giving us stability, while simultaneously exciting our spirit, marriage should reflect that—it should be a balance between consistent stability and endless excitement. Ecclesiastes 9:9 instructs man to “live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all of your earthly toil.”

Wow, His favor is such a blessing, right? He knew that surviving in this world, living for Him wouldn’t be easy, so He gave man a blessing like no other—a partner. Seriously, I want to be right there with you—cheering you on and supporting you through the grind and climb. I want to remind you of who you are in Christ and all that you are capable of when faced with hardship and tough times. I want to help you break down doors and make it over roadblocks. I want to work diligently together; up late brainstorming with one another, planning, creating, executing, and succeeding; establishing goals, achieving them, to only re-evaluate and establish new goals, and then to do it all over again. I want to do this all while loving on one another, laughing together, and living each day with an indescribable joy in our hearts and with immense peace of mind. I want to have fun together in our best days, while we’re young, sexy, and eager to learn and live, passionately. I want to go on road trips, traveling all over, exploring God’s miraculous creations—learning together and embracing all that God has for us in this life. I want to laugh a lot, see a lot, and do a lot together! I don’t want to wait until I’m old to experience it. I want to be the best of friends. I want to grow old with you. I want to think back over our life together at 100 years old, looking at one another as if it’s the first time we’ve laid eyes on each other and proudly say, “we enjoyed a lifetime together.” 

Dear King pt. II will be available Sun. 12/17/17 at 8 p.m. CST